im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Life is so much better after having sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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