I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize