And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm getting married
To pizza
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
