Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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