I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
time to smoke my breakfast
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
