when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
