Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
