so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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