so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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