Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
