Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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