wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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