never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
