He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
