I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
