He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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