Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
