in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
