It was confusing and full of hummus
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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