Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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