We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
