you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
