they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
