I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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