Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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