what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
