i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
