I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
