Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
