the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
