I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
