yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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