she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I forget how to act sober
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