WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Come on in and take your pants off
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