Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
