S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
