He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
