My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
