I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
