yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
