Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
