ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
