WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
