OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
