I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
