So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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