I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize