I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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