i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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