Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you never un-have a 4some
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize