We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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