She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
