This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wish there were birth control emojis
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
