Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize