Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
