did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
