Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
