ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Less talking, more tequila
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
