Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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